The Center for Disease Control has
issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually
transmitted disease.
This disease is contracted through dangerous and high
risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim
(pronounced "gonna re-elect him").
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed
for the past four years, in spite of having taken measures
to protect themselves from this especially troublesome
disease.
Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea
Lectim include, but are not limited to:
Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of
grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling
of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance;
inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia;
inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional
cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled
facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies
toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong
propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and
epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant
disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Contributed by Marlow B
⇔