OUR TITULAR ATTORNEY
GENERAL
By William Fisher
Well, I’m glad that’s over!
Victoria’s Secret, Janet Jackson, and all
the rest of us, can now breathe a huge sigh of relief.
Drapes are out. Breasts are back.
That was the big news from the Department of Justice
over the weekend (though Justice seemed to want
to keep it as quiet as possible). On Friday, workers
removed the blue drapes that have modestly covered
two scantily clad statues for the past 3 1/2 years.
Spirit of Justice, with her one breast exposed
and her arms raised, and the bare-chested male Majesty
of Law, were back to their au natural state in Justice's
Great Hall.
Installed in 2002, the drapes ensured that the
then-Attorney General John Ashcroft could speak
in the Great Hall without fear of a breast showing
up behind him in television or newspaper pictures.
Late night comics also had a titillating chuckle
at the expense of the evangelical Ashcroft.
Every time I saw Ashcroft’s successor, Alberto
Gonzales, with a long face, I knew he must be agonizing
over this weighty affair of state: Drape or Breast.
I never really believed him when he said (regularly)
he had more important things to consider.
Still, I suspect a tad of ambivalence. The Associated
Press was refused permission to photograph the statues
in their bold new state.
The AP reminded me that when former Attorney General
Edwin Meese released a report on pornography in
the 1980s, photographers dived to the floor to capture
the image of him raising the report in the air,
with the partially nude female statue behind him.
Republican Richard Thornburgh, attorney general
under Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush,
must have experienced similar indecision. According
to our friends at the AP, he had the drapery put
up only for a few occasions when he was appearing
in the Great Hall, rather than permanently installed
as it was under Ashcroft.
But it ain’t over ‘till it’s over,
and this is decidedly a story with legs. The rumor
is that Congressional Democrats are asking the General
Accountability Office, as well as James Dobson,
Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, to investigate
the propriety of spending $8,000 on a bunch of drapes.
Please click on the link below.
THE
WORLD ACCORDING TO BILL FISHER
